Erotic Roleplay (ERP) is the exploration of a character’s sexuality through text between two people, simply put. It is the development of a character within sexual scenes. Some of these scenes are important, some are not, but all can be immensely satisfying and arousing for both writers.
ERP has gotten a bad name in the history of the internet, leading people to think of ‘i tuch ur thigh’ style roleplay, done with the explicit purpose of getting aroused and, finally, getting off. However, it’s evolved into something a lot more than that, and if you want to join in and find a lot of great ERP, join Darknest! It’s one of our sites dedicated to erotic roleplay, fiction and art, especially in MMORPGs.
So what defines erotic roleplayers? Are we all writers wishing to flesh out our characters in a more exploratory manner? I don’t deny that I think some very important character development can take place before, during or after sex. For example:
-Spoilers from HBO’S Game of Thrones-
When Danyreas first was raped by her husband, and the second time when she told him she would be on top. This is a HUGE point for character development for both characters and leads them down a path that wouldn’t be as obvious without that one sexual scene. Suddenly, she wasn’t a slave girl to be raped. She was his wife, and she was going to make him respect her.
The strict definitions that some people cling to (i.e. that erotic roleplay should be strictly about the writing with arousal coming secondary or not at all, that erotic roleplay shouldn’t be personal, etc.) don’t hold true for everyone, and I imagine some people take a good deal of insult with these assumptions being assigned to them. There are plenty of people who ERP with the sole intent to become aroused, and this should be handled with a certain amount of grace.
Your partner may love hearing that you just got yourself off in real life, but others would find that really disgusting and crossing the boundaries between in character (IC) and out of character (OOC) interactions.
Along with this, first person erotic roleplay tends to make people uncomfortable, because it feels more personal. It’s something that requires a lot of understanding and respect from both partners, and outlining certain boundaries upfront is beneficial.
Overall, there’s no one definition for what people want in ERP. Just like other sexual matters people fill the spectre from one end to the other. People should be more honest with others and themselves, about erotic roleplay. So many people have so much hate against people who ERP and it’s understandable why people would be shy or ashamed about admitting not only that they do it, but why they do it.
On Moon Guard (US) World of Warcraft server, there’s a large population of people who ERP, and many of them deny it. Some go so far as to harass other people they suspect of ERP, griefing them and insulting them, calling them terrible names only to find them on a low level alt trolling for some cyber booty later that day. I’ve had people insult my writing, only to reference things that happened deep in the story – it was obvious that they read the entire thing. And continued to read my stories in the future.
Don’t be ashamed of your sexual desires. Don’t be ashamed of your desire to explore your roleplaying character’s sexuality and desires. Don’t be ashamed of your erotic roleplay. We’re adults. We roleplay with other adults. There’s nothing wrong with sex, or talking about sex, or fantasizing about sex.
Let’s start an ERP revolution!
I wouldn’t deny that I ERP because I find it sexy. I can honestly say I’ve never heard someone use the excuse that they only do it for literary reasons, either; in my experience, people have been just as critical and mocking of it as cybering. The only reason I separate “cyber” from “ERP” is that ERP implies intimacy between two characters, whereas cybering implies a level of intimacy between the people behind the screen. I don’t have any desire whatsoever to establish romantic or sexual connections with my RP partner out of character, and establishing clearly-understood boundaries is so important to the sanity of everyone involved that making that distinction is crucial.
While trust and vulnerability are certainly part of ERP, I don’t consider myself to be having sex with my RP partner. I consider it cooperative writing, like all RP–but in this case, it’s writing porn. I would never ERP with someone who viewed what we were doing as having sex and using our characters as proxies.
Agreed with everything, if you are going to fully flesh out a character and thoroughly RP you have to understand that – like people – your toon isn’t a robot and has sexual desires and thoughts. Besides, people should handle adult things like adults, and be mature about it. Going as low as insulting people and calling them cyber whores, or even having disdain for it and expressing it agressively, it makes you no better than the school bully.