When we were the keynote speakers for the Risque Sex Expo in May, one of our speeches was on how to write erotica. We really want to share with you what we think are our top tips for burgeoning fetishists.

Some people think that writing erotica is easy – I mean, how hard is it to describe sex?

Well, I want you to compare these two paragraphs.

“Mike came up behind her and put his hands on her hips. He yanked off her shorts and looked at that hot twat. He smiled at how wet she was and lined up his cock with her hole, sticking it in.”

“Mike put his hands on her hips as he rubbed his bare cock on her jean shorts. Nadine gasped as she stopped looking through the gardening book, her fingers trembling as the went to the table. She felt molten against his member as he ground into her, and his fingers snaked around her waist to undo the button on her shorts. “Miss me?” he murmured huskily in her ear, and her breathing hitched.”

Now, the first one focuses on what’s happening. He comes up. He yanks off her shorts. He sticks it in.

The second one focuses more on the ‘little things’. The mood setters. I’m sure you got a better feel of the relationship between the two of them, of the setting, of the characters. That, to me, is what makes erotica good. It’s a focus on scene building and getting an emotional rise out of people.

Erotica delves into the deepest part of someone’s desires, and you’re expected to turn them on. Each person is so different, is so individual, that it’s not easy unless you find some way to ‘hook’ them and get them to start feeling what you’re writing. Telling someone what’s happening isn’t sexy. Telling something all the other stuff surrounding what’s happening starts to help, though.

It takes a lot of personal introspection, though. Think about what turns you on. Do you like it when someone whispers in your ear a certain way? Do you like being touched or teased? What about it turns you on? Is it the closeness? Is it the feeling of someone being aroused by you? Is it the notion that someone is spending time and energy trying to make you feel good? Or are you a more selfless lover and you just love knowing that your partner is enjoying themselves?

Think about those things, about the ‘mood’ you like for sex. Fun? Romantic? Violent? Silly? Think about what adds to that atmosphere. Do you like candlelight and soft sheets? Or would you rather your partner surprise you in the car? Do you like planning for hours in setting up elaborate devices (latex, bondage)? Is it the anticipation of the event that really turns you on? Foreplay? Penetration? Orgasm? Afterglow?

Think about all these things and how they contribute to your sex life, and then focus on them when writing. If you love foreplay, don’t skip it in the story. Let your desire flow through you, and really let yourself get involved in the writing. Let yourself feel aroused. It’s not bad, it’s not dirty, it’s not conceited. Write to turn yourself on, and the rest will come in time.

Focus on what really makes you emotionally linked into a scene, or a kink, or a fetish, or a taboo. Really think about why it ‘works’ for you. It’s not always easy, and there’s no right or simple answer, but if you can figure out why it turns you on, there’s a good chance it will turn others on if they share your interests. Talking to other people about fetishes, as well, can be really helpful. Learning why other people get turned on is almost as good as learning why you get turned on!

Focus less on the mechanics of sex, and more about what’s happening. What do the characters smell like? Look like? Feel like? Sound like? Think of “Who, what, where, why, when” when you’re writing and really try to engage all of the senses (touch, taste, smell, sight, sounds). Fill in the gaps about the atmosphere, about what the characters are experiencing, and make it as rich as you can.

Rich doesn’t mean flowery, though. You want to be descriptive, but don’t get bogged down in it, either. You want to move at a pace that suits the story well. Use not just your words to set the mood, but your storytelling as well!

I do suggest, however, that you don’t orgasm until your scene is finished. My partner and I have too many stories that end abruptly because of that 😉